After the Blogfest

Last week’s logline blogfest was awesome. So many comments, so much feedback, so many versions. I’d love to keep that momentum going. How about a one-line pitchfest?

Two lines was great practice for the MSFV contest next month and for query letters, but sometimes you just need to write one sentence for a contest, or to pitch an agent in person, or to start off a query letter. And our non-writing friends and family will listen to one sentence with much more patience (and less of the glazing-over eyes) than two. Am I right?

So let’s give it a try. I can’t promise the same turnout as last week, or the participation of an awesome author like Michelle McLean, but maybe someone will see what we’re doing and offer some help.

To start the ball rolling, here’s mine:

Sixteen-year-old Rwandan Cecile Kwizera survived the genocide that killed her father and classmates, and now she must put the past and the guilt behind her long enough to keep her housekeeping job and provide for her family.

Please offer feedback in the comments, as well as links to your own posts with one-line pitches.

Thanks again to Steena Holmes for giving me the –fest bug and helping me link in to her awesome community!



Filed under Getting Published, writing

10 responses to “After the Blogfest

  1. I love this pitch! Nice job!

    Here’s mine: In a world where vaccine-induced immortals languish in eternity, seventeen-year-old Justin Talent’s blood may be the one thing that will bring them to life. Justin must risk everything–his life, his family, his people–to help the immortal who harmed him.

    Gah, this is a work-in-progress. 😉

  2. Pingback: It’s Your Turn to Pitch! « Diamond–Yup, Like the Stone

  3. Hmm, I haven’t actually developed a pitch yet, but let’s see how I do making one up on the spot.

    After a hundred thousand years of exile on earth, Azrael must choose between letting go of his own guilt and returning to the Village in the Cloud, or an eternity of banishment in order to save a vampire he doesn’t know.

    Ha ha, that’s bad. But this was fun. I definitely need to work on my pitch. Can’t wait to see what others write.

    • vtremp

      Hi Elisa *waves* !

      Thanks for joining in. Your pitch has me intrigued. Here are some questions to help make the pitch even better: Guilt over what? What suddenly prompts the choice? Who’s the vamp?


    • It sounds like a fallen angel type of story. I like the name Village in the Cloud. But I also wonder who the vampire is and what the relationship is to Azrael.

  4. Great loglines, both of you! Blessings…

  5. In a world where immortality can be bought, and memories transferred to younger bodies, how far must Zoe Sinclair go to save her own mind and that of her friends?

    I just made this pitch on the spot too. There’s a bit of that going around, it seems. Thanks for the pitch fest, Vicki!

    • vtremp

      Nice for created on the spot, Suz! So intriguing.

      But “In a world where…” always reminds me of movie trailer voice-overs.

      Some questions: Is there anything special about Zoe that makes her the one to buck the system? What is the inciting event?

      Otherwise, I think we know the conflict, goal and stakes, so…good job! Especially since you’re still writing!

      Thanks for sharing, and for helping out with critiquing the pitches.

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